This was definitely something I needed to read right now. I'm working with someone who it's not working out with, but have lacked the guts (for over a year) to tell them the working relationship needs to end ; I'm struggling to have some frank conversations with patients and end up sugar-coating or avoiding issues (at cost to their wellbeing) ; I tend to not push my point if I disagree with my husband, and just let him "win" while I withdraw and get a bit resentful (and that is entirely on me). Your post reminded me that it's actually disrespectful to my relationships to avoid hard discussions, and the tips are really helpful and practical. Thank you :)
So glad it was helpful Chelsea! It's not just you.
Your comment makes me think about how there's a whole important gender dimension to this too, in terms of societal expectations of how women communicate (and are received), vs men. I need to think about that some more.
Thanks for the encouragement! I think we're almost all duckers — in fact, sometimes we don't even notice that we're ducking.
It's possible to go too far the other way — we don't have to discuss *everything*, and some hills aren't for dying on. But, amongst Brits and Canadians, that's seldom the problem!
This was definitely something I needed to read right now. I'm working with someone who it's not working out with, but have lacked the guts (for over a year) to tell them the working relationship needs to end ; I'm struggling to have some frank conversations with patients and end up sugar-coating or avoiding issues (at cost to their wellbeing) ; I tend to not push my point if I disagree with my husband, and just let him "win" while I withdraw and get a bit resentful (and that is entirely on me). Your post reminded me that it's actually disrespectful to my relationships to avoid hard discussions, and the tips are really helpful and practical. Thank you :)
So glad it was helpful Chelsea! It's not just you.
Your comment makes me think about how there's a whole important gender dimension to this too, in terms of societal expectations of how women communicate (and are received), vs men. I need to think about that some more.
I have a monthly reminder to make a hard conversation with someone.
I know it’s wired, but I found out we avoid these, so I wanted to make it a skill for me.
I love this weird idea! Do it regularly (assuming you have a good reason to do it) and you'll become so much better at it.
Great post, Adam. I realise I’m a ducker and so this is thought - and possibly action - provoker.
Thanks for the encouragement! I think we're almost all duckers — in fact, sometimes we don't even notice that we're ducking.
It's possible to go too far the other way — we don't have to discuss *everything*, and some hills aren't for dying on. But, amongst Brits and Canadians, that's seldom the problem!