Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Sarika Jhawar's avatar

Adam,

Having known you for a few years, I knew you’d bring this up—and I’m so glad you did.

As an introvert, the biggest challenge I face in a work setting is making myself heard. There’s a bit of background to this, so bear with me.

I was a quiet child, quiet but content in my own head—a happy place. However, I grew up surrounded by chatty cousins. My well-meaning mother, worried about my silence, would urge me to speak up, not realising how difficult that was for me. I took it as a challenge. My first step? Study those talkative relatives and figure out what they talked about. After careful observation, I realized something: people talk about anything. Literally anything. That didn’t seem so hard.

Armed with this insight, I stepped into my group of cousins, ready to join in. But a new problem arose—when do you speak in a lively, fast-paced conversation? Everyone was talking and laughing, and I found myself waiting for a pause, a moment of silence, to jump in.

I soon realized that if I kept waiting for the perfect gap, I’d never get a chance to speak. So, I started interjecting. I carried this rude habit well into adulthood.

I also realised what happens when you’re always waiting for that perfect moment to speak:

1. The conversation moves on, and your bright idea—your valuable opinion—remains stuck in your head.

2. You’re too busy thinking about what you want to say instead of actively listening.

3. And the most frustrating one—an extrovert beats you to it. They voice that clever question or brilliant idea you were just about to share, and now it’s their idea.

Fast-forward to my professional life, and I still find myself searching for that elusive gap. Some considerate extroverted colleagues recognize this and invite me to share my thoughts with a simple, “What do you think?” But not everyone is that in tune with others, and those invitations don’t always come. Plus, the power dynamic now shifts to the person inviting you to speak.

I’ve found that I do much better when I’m chairing a meeting. The role gives me both the space and the authority to speak. I’ve also discovered that I am ok with public speaking. It’s your stage, you dictate the rules.

One would think that, at this stage in my career, I’d have mastered the art of making myself heard. Yet here I am, still grappling with the same challenge I faced as a child.

So, to my fellow introverts—have you cracked the code? How do you ensure your voice is heard in meetings? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Expand full comment
Chelsea's avatar

Kia ora Adam, I am definitely an introvert, and it can make my work life a bit draining at times. In academia, introversion makes networking difficult, especially because it doesn't feel like the "productive work" of sitting down and writing, or getting through the endless stack of papers to read. Networking and other meetings often lead to more opportunities and meetings, which can be daunting. My research is with Indigenous peoples (Māori), which I identify partly as, and Māori culture is very community-minded which I feel a bit hard sometimes, having grown up in an individualistic western household. By undertaking research with Māori, I have committed to becoming "a known face" in the community, learning the language, and building relationships with the community - these are positive things, but do lead to a lot more filling up of my calendar, which makes me feel a bit overwhelmed. In my clinical work, introversion isn't too bad. In fact like yourself, I've found it helps me connect more deeply with individual patients. But when it comes to CPD like peer review meetings, and staff socials (a hazard of any work place), it all gets a bit draining.

I've found that time autonomy is very important to me, and I quickly get unhappy and resentful if I'm out and about too much. So, if I start to feel that moodiness coming on, or I can see that I've got a busy few weeks ahead, I'll schedule a Selfish Day. The definition of Selfish Day is that it wouldn't matter if I stayed in my pjs all day - ie. no commitments or plans. I can leave the house if I want to, but essentially there is not reason why I should HAVE to get dressed for the day.

Expand full comment
10 more comments...

No posts